Through squeezed-shut eyelids all I can see is the glistening water, the howling breeze. I see the blue in your soul and run my fingers across the prickly, yellowed grass where we would lay embraced for hours.
You were my angel for a while.
Yes, there you were, my glistening anchor. Your arms held me to the ground. I could exist in the world as long as you were there. The cold couldn’t touch my skin when your veins kept me warm. My heart couldn’t stop beating as long as it had your constant ba-dump to aspire.
A different beat wakes me from my clouded reality. A slow heart seems to set music to a misty room. The air is still now. Only the air really knows where we don’t belong. Only air can fill itself with tension that we have no choice but to breathe directly into our soul.
My fist clenches as my soul fills with the uncomfortable menagerie of pain
And I feel the needle. It wakes me
And reminds me that I am alive.
My veins are cold, but they are healing. The pain of the needle is making them strong again.
My heart is slow, but you aren’t here and its still beating.
Maybe the short grass and soft wind drugged me into thinking I was healed, but the prickle of the hospital sheets and the stale air finally jerk my soul awake.
I tried to be your angel.
I really did, you know.
But I was and am and will be broken. And angels are never broken.
So my dear,
You were a perfect angel for a while, but you fell.
And fallen angels are worse than the broken;
The broken can be healed with bandages and needles,
But the fallen ones,
The fallen ones only exist in the fieriest hell.
I’ve never done one of these before, but in a few weeks I’ll be selecting someone to get a free shirt of their choice using a list randomizer. Only reblogs count, but you can reblog this as many times as you’d like. I’ll message the winner in 2-3 weeks. Also, whatever shirt they choose will be available at a discounted price for a week after or so.
Shirts: g4tsby tees
Quiescent - a quiet, soft-spoken soul.
Chimerical - merely imaginary; fanciful.
Susurrus - a whispering or rustling sound.
Raconteur - one who excels in story-telling.
Clinquant - glittering; tinsel-like.
Aubade - a song greeting the dawn.
Ephemeral - lasting a very short time.
Sempiternal - everlasting; eternal.
Euphonious - pleasing; sweet in sound.
Billet-doux - a love letter.
Redamancy - act of loving in return.
Jenny Holzer, Selection from Survival Series, 1983-85
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